I shouldn't have brought this back up

http://www.retrojunk.com/details_commercial/2099/

Watch that. I'm sorry in advance.

Also in advance: Be sure to be in a county with no sharp objects. And I mean, nothing sharp at all. Basically, if it's sharper than a puddle of milk, you need to be at least a 3 hour flight away. A bar of Laffy Taffy, I promise you, it will still end up embedded in your skull and piercing your temple if it's within driving distance.

Need it clearer? Here ya go.

I think this is it. The actual end of human sanity.

Fuck H.R. Giger. Fuck H.P. Lovecraft. Fuck FLCL, fuck Paranoia Agent, fuck all of it.

This is without a doubt, bar none, the single most fucked up thing that's ever been created. Ever. This is the only thing that would ever drive Cthulu mad. This is what Popsicle Pete sees in his nightmares. I would rather leave Marida Cruz to her eternal cycle of being raped and forced to abort her rapechild than subject her to this.

That being said...WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS GODDAMN THING?!!?!! WHO CAME UP WITH IT? HOW IS THIS SUPPOSED TO GET ME TO WATCH MORE CARTOONS?!

I mean, I can't even identify what most of the fucking entities in whatever cursed dimension this is supposed to be are fucking called, and then there's some cone shaped thing with swirls for eyes speaking some language that has never existed....WHAT THE FUCK IS IT SAYING? WHY IS IT TALKING?? ARRRGGGHHGHEKJAS:GNOPABGUIOJIODGHOQEBT#(*)U$*(HUIO:BNBJKB

I swear to god, I'm going to end up in an ER with a philips head screwdriver embedded in my temple and a blissful look in my face. I hope you're happy, CBS. Do me a favor: Let me know what haunted antique store you bought that goddamn paint can from. I want to kill whatever ancient, evil, bastard child of David Lo Pan and Imhotep (The invisible one from Look Around You, not from The Mummy) is the proprietor of that place. Actually, scratch that. I want to find room 1408 and throw his ass in there with the goddamn paint can, so that existence may end and I can get the sleep I will be denied for the rest of my days.

GAHAHHHAHHAHHHAHAHAH.

So yeah, Girl Gamers.

Not sure what it is about tonight, but so far I've run across two articles on Kotaku about women in gaming. Figured I'd weigh in, though I obviously lack the equipment to talk about it firsthand.

Growing up, gaming wasn't something a whole lot of girls talked about, or talked about doing - it was mostly guys doing it, and there was very much a slant towards the male audience. Is it strange? Not to me...I've known plenty of female gamers in my time, and while they didn't play everything I played, they had their own library of games that had plenty of overlap with mine. It's been interesting to see the evolution of things, especially when I think back to what was the beginning for most of us: Super Mario Bros. or Donkey Kong. In both games, the woman was the goal, and boy was that common. Double Dragon, Final Fight, Rolling Thunder, Rough Ranger, Ghosts N Goblins, Ghouls N Ghosts, Legend Of Zelda...you get the idea.

Now, maybe I'm just not that guy that thinks a woman is a prize to be earned. Or maybe I just bore easy. But this formula really got played out, and it stopped making sense to merely equate women in games to a goal. I always point to Marian from Double Dragon and Princess Peach/Toadstool from Super Mario Bros. as a way to get across my point: Both of them were pretty awesome when they got involved in the game, be it chucking veggies at Shyguys or doing something other than being kidnapped or destroyed by gunfire (Ed. Note: Not cool, Willy.) I feel the same way with female gamers, though I certainly don't want them to feel like they're on a pedestal. I just never saw any reason why they should exempt themselves from the game - if anything, I wish they would've been more into the stuff I liked rather than some of the more girl oriented titles. Heck, maybe they were, and I just wasn't there for it.

So we go from there to now, and I think we've thus far seen women in all sorts of roles. And granted, there is some over-sexualization of the female form in video games, and there always will be. Just like there is in magazines, television, movies, songs, poetry and every other form of expression under the sun. Sorry girls, but part of our wiring - in some cases, a dominant form of our wiring - is wanting to have sex with you. That's kind of how we make kids, and it's primal. Unfortunately, it also works for marketing, especially when your audience is composed of adolescents and you're trying to get them to put Modern Warfare down for a minute to take a look at your product.

(By the way, you'll notice I've left Japan out. That's because I really don't have an explanation for that stuff. I'm not offended by it, but damn...they love them some fanservice.)

Now, do feminist gamers have a point that they are being given unrealistic representation in the medium? Sure! Here's the thing: So are men. Trust me, not all of us want to be grim, gristled space-marines or grim, gristled modern marines. Shit, some of us would be okay with being a character that didn't pack heat once in a while. I personally have had more fun being a high-tech ninja or a clumsy galaxy-saving janitor. But the bottom line for me is, this stuff is fantasy. I don't want to be represented in a video game. I have to deal with being Jonas all day, every day. I am not a murderous, testosterone cocktail of a Spartan who cuts through Gods like butter, but it sure is fun to pick up God of War and control one for a while.

And again! Not a woman here. But I do remember how women used to be represented in games, and I can compare them to now and see a world of difference. Sure, Cammy's ass gets a little too much attention, but she can also throttle you (Ed. Note: Send all your mail about tiers to whocares@gmail.com). Fighting games used to be limited to one girl, now there's several, and they aren't all trying to seduce you.

Finally, here's a little secret from the guys, and I'm sure you girls know this already: A game can be dripping with sexpots like Ivy in Soul Calibur, or Cammy in Street Fighter. It can be full of naughty co-eds, like Night Trap. And you know something? Most of us won't give 1/10th of a shit if there's no game there. There are games out there that are fanservice galore, games where Mai Shiranui would look Amish, and nobody buys them because they suck. It's what I call the TimeKillers/Bloodstorm rule: I don't care how many people's heads I can cut off, or how realistic you can draw the entrails of the person I just de-legged, or how much jiggle the girls have or how many suggestive poses or sayings they can rifle off: if your game sucks ass, you can keep it. It's the same reason you don't see any forums talking about Harvester as a masterpiece or lines out the door in Akihabara for GalGun.

And that's part of the reason I loved reading Leigh Alexander's article. I'm glad that she just wants to be a gamer and wants people to be polite. See, girls, the same asshole who's typing "TITS OR GTFO" was just moments ago calling me a multiple racial slur because I sniped him. Welcome to online gaming, AKA "Hmm....Maybe a single-player RPG would be better." The crime here isn't one exclusively of being sexist, the crime is being a colossal loudmouth douche hiding behind anonymity. If any other disease spread as fast as that social one, we'd all be dead by now.

So that's where I stand: I'm glad you game, and I hope you enjoy doing so. Don't really care that you're a woman, though - I thought the whole point was that such a thing was inconsequential.

Fast Trak - Cause I'm Tired

* Well whadd'ya know, the Playstation Vita is only $249.99. $299.99 if you want 3G, which I might depending on how I pay for it. It looks banging too. I would complain about the lack of video out, but dat OLED screen...

* More and more remasters coming out. Good thing with a few bad connotations, I guess. I'll know more when I actually grab one other than God of War Collection. I'm in for all Konami's remasters, Tekken Hybrid and Monster Hunter, provided it's coming out here. Shagohod chase in 3D, here I come!

* Beyond Good and Evil HD is FINALLY out for PSN, and I'll be grabbing it shortly. Anything to help push for the sequel, though it's apparently not coming out this generation.

* I'll be getting back to my Hot Shots Golf ways very, very soon. The PSV version is looking incredible, and they're updating OOB to have Move + 3D support. Speaking of those two items...

* That's also how I'll be enjoying Child Of Eden when it comes to PS3. Mizuguchi's already talking about PS3 exclusive content. I'd be okay with it just being 3d + Move, but I don't think that's very good use of the Blu-Ray. Maybe throw in Rez HD since we didn't get it yet on PSN. Just a thought.

* For those who think DNF is a disappointment: NO FUCKING KIDDING IT SUCKED. What did you expect?! The Duke Nukem idea was novel back in the day, by which I mean 1996. And it got worked on by a different team. The whole novelty of this point was to release a game that apparently couldn't be released 15 years after its predecessor. Try this with Starcraft: Ghost and you'll get the same result.

If you're still not getting it, here's how you can tell how much of a product of a bygone era Duke Nukem was: DN3D didn't support TCP/IP. It used IPX exclusively. Rattle that around for a bit, and move on.

* Mortal Kombat's had some serious issues so far, but apparently they've got the online "fixed" now. Also, Skarlet's available with Rain and Kenshi incoming. There's also another one to be revealed...can't imagine who at this point, but it should be interesting.

* More later after sleep.

-Trakdown

God damn, we're bored.

I admit, I looked up the internet term "planking" with full knowledge that it could be something very, very disgusting. This is the internet, after all, and people are sick fucks. So you can imagine my relief when I found this:

This is the extent of the damage. Well, for the "offensive" part...which is taken over by how utterly goddamn retarded this is. Because that's all there is to this: lie down, stiff as a board, in an unusual place. Congratulations!(?) You're now planking, or playing the "lying down game". Anybody else guessing this was conceived with a bong hit and a case of the giggles?

I've also heard this called "Parkour for those who don't give a fuck" which is like calling taking a nap "breakdancing for those who don't give a fuck". Parkour (or free-running) looks like this:

Sad thing is, both of these pictures could be animated and this page would look exactly the fucking same.

Bottom line: Plankers are open goddamn game. You don't get to do something this fucking retarded and live to tell about it. You see someone planking, it's practically an invite. And since this "activity" is defended as a fad, I have a few ideas...er, fads...that could catch on.

* Parking - When you see a bunch of people planking in the road, get in your car and drive on top of them, then put the car in park.

* Prawning - Get a nice, big bucket of prawns and pour it all over the planker. Bonus points multiply based on the age of the prawns and how long they've been in the sun.

* Pawning - Find a planker, steal his wallet and head to the nearest pawn shop. You can figure out the rest from here.

* Pushing - Self explanatory. Good for those risk takers who think they're X Games athletes for doing this in an unsafe place, like near a body of water or at a high altitude.

* Planking, the revenge - Get a 2x4, find a planker, wind up with a good swing aimed towards the spine and see how hardcore they really are.

* Punishing - Wild card.

Sorry folks, but this is pretty much the end game for us. We're basically out of ideas if these asshats can actually deign to quantify this horseshit as "an activity".

Can you get financing on Anime?

Look, I'll be the first to admit, I have no earthly idea how much it costs to make Anime. I just know I love the stuff, and if given the chance, I'll gladly buy a boxset. Lately I've had to ask for something a bit more, just because of the advancement of technology. Hi-def? Necessary. 5.1? I can do without, but it's certainly a plus. And with Ghost In The Shell: Stand Alone Complex: Solid State Society coming out in 3D, I'm hoping we'll get more anime that lends itself to this as I think it could bring some extra pizazz to certain titles. Spirited Away, for instance: It certainly doesn't need 3D, but some scenes would be absolutely stunning with it implemented.

In my search for Blu-Ray anime, I haven't paid more than about $15-20 for a disc yet. I got a great deal on Evangelion 1.11 - about $11. Even without the discounts you see at Amazon, the ceiling looks to be about 50 or so dollars for either 1/2 a season of anime or one of the movies. Granted, this price is set regardless of the quality of the transfer and there's usually few or no special features, but it's not bad coming from the days when 1 5 episode DVD ran you about 30 bucks.

So honestly, we have it good over here. And I thought for sure that it would be even better in the Land of the Rising Sun (not to be confused with that house in New Orleans), since after all, it's local, right? All they gotta do is put it out there! Even with the exchange rate, there's gotta be some kind of price parity, right?

Holy hell, was I ever wrong.

Let's start with Angel Beats! (their exclamation point, not mine), which even though it's not one of my faves is as good an example as any. It's not out yet in the states, but the Blu-Ray is going for about $46.00 for the complete collection pre-ordered at Amazon. Sure, that's a little high for only 13 episodes, but it's still reasonable for High-def, dual audio anime. Meanwhile, over at cdjapan.co.jp, 1 volume of Angel Beats on DVD is 6000 yen, or $73.08. That whopping chunk of change gets you two whole episodes in standard definition with no subtitles and Japanese audio only. I doubt the Japanese Drama CD and booklet will do much to soothe the pain of dropping just under $75 on this.

But hey, let's do this the right way and compare straight across...as best we can. If we want blu-ray, the price jumps up to $85.26 and you still only get two eps. Yeah, way to use up that extra space on the medium. On top of that, they give you an extra DVD with a making of. WTF?! But keep in mind, this is a 13 episode anime with an OVA bringing it to 14 episodes total- on 7 separate discs as well. So that's a total of 7 Blu-ray releases, which if you total it up comes to just shy of $600 American Dollars - and you haven't even paid for shipping yet!

This isn't just Angel Beats! either. God help you if you're a fan of any of Key's works. Clannad, Clannad: After Story, and Kanon all run over $700 each for the complete blu-ray sets, though thankfully they've decided to actually have box sets for each series, unlike Angel Beats. AIR is a little gentler at $405 USD, but that's still $2500 for all of Key's portfolio. Even worse, that's currently the only way to get the Blu-Ray discs. Stateside, we have AIR on DVD through the S.A.V.E. category of Anime, the whole series going for only $14.99. Unless that Blu-Ray is a 4K re-release, it's not worth that price. The aforementioned Solid State Society 3D Blu-Ray ($150) is the only one I've seen where the price is somewhat justifiable, and even then, I realize I'm mainly buying that because I don't think SSS3D has a chance in hell of seeing release stateside. And if it did, I'd gladly double-dip for the low, low price of $50 - and that might be a high estimate for what I'd pay for it.

I honestly don't get this. Anime is probably not cheap to make, but is it really worth it to price something this damn high? Isn't this overwhelmingly prohibitive? Well, it turns out it is, because anime is either being purchased from us and imported or flat-out pirated, leaving anime studios to recoup their costs through merchandise sales. Guess Yogurt was right after all. But I'm seeing some absolutely blockheaded decisions being made here. Two episodes on a Blu-Ray, when you can fit 6-7 on one in the states? And furthermore, why the hell is a country with an advanced network infrastructure wasting their time and money on printing this stuff? You could easily put this up on a controlled channel for digital distribution. Sure, you'll get pirates, but you have those now. At least with this you can get a better chunk of the pie rather than leaving your customers to decide if they'd rather buy Haruhi on Blu-Ray or vacation in the Bahamas and very rationally going for the latter.

It ultimately comes down to this: The anime industry is contracting, like it or not. Seasons used to be 24 eps, now they're 12, and if a series doesn't push merch or set the world on fire during that time frame, it's not seeing a 2nd one. K-On! and Madoka may be entertaining, but even they aren't worth this insane pricing. It's time to take advantage of the available tech and get this stuff to customers in a reasonable fashion. Either fill those Blu-Rays or get rid of them entirely. Let's get this stuff down to a price that ensures that the market is accessible - there's some awesome stories here, and I'd much rather lose them to people's tastes than their wallets.

You Know What's Bullshit? Penny Arcade.

Well, that will save me some time three times a week.

I really used to love Penny Arcade, really I did. I still have my Black Mantle hoodie, a reminder of a time when they used to be actually kind of funny. Matter of fact, "I hope you like text" is still one of the greatest laughs I've ever had.

That was almost 5 years ago.

Now, I don't take the whole PSN being down mess as a personal affront any more than I do Netflix having intermittent server outages, or the Amazon's recent cloud server mess. I just say "WTF?! SONY FIX THIS SHIT!" - and I say it only once - and then I go about my day. Turns out there are still games out there that have deep enough single player modes that you can kill some time with them. Also, I have a full-time job and school, so it's not like I don't have stuff to do. Nor am I offended because of any "zomg How dare you insult my console of choice?" I've heard all the criticisms before, some valid, others not, so I've learned to tune it out.

But there's some remarkably unfunny shit here, and I don't mean "it offends me"...I mean the jokes fall flat. They've now made a T-shirt to commemorate this event, because for some reason I still haven't fathomed, this one is special. They've officially commented on this more than they have on the RROD or E72 errors of the Xbox 360 and the YLOD of the PS3. Maybe that's it. Maybe I'm don't occupy that wavelength where paperweights are still better than systems that are temporarily without online. Probably because that doesn't make any goddamn sense.

The t-shirt though...let me put it this way: If you're going to tell the same joke for a week straight, it had better be fucking hilarious. If you're going to make merchandise based on that joke? I don't even know how you would come to that point. Even if you thought the Kevin Butler ads were annoying affronts to your sense of aesthetic, wouldn't you kind of just ignore them after a point?

What is funny, however, is seeing whoever's bought this shirt having to explain it later.

"Dude...what is your shirt about? I don't get it."
"Oh, it's hilarious...PlayStation Network was down for about a week and a half, and this was their ad campaign at the time, so it's like we were sticking it to Sony! HAHAHAHA!"
*cue uncomfortable silence and funny looks*


Even worse, their incessant need to talk about this showcases their fall even more for me. I've never demanded PA be refined, distinguished gentlemen every step of the way, nor have I demanded every comic be pants-pissingly hilarious. But over the years, it's just become more and more apparent that we're not speaking the same language. I don't get their logic, and some of their attitudes for gaming are so retarded they take compact buses to school. Paying $120 for Final Fantasy XIII. Praising Kinect because of unofficial applications - many of which they'll never get to touch - or because their wives like it (...the fuck?). And again, the double standards.

Turns out, a long last, these guys are just two more gamers who ride into trollsville every now and then. I applaud the good they've done for the industry at large, but I don't need to read this any more. Their writing's gone way downhill, the art's starting to suck, and I can read this fanboy bullshit on every other website on the net.

Now, back to talking about games.

Post-Unboxing video!

Portal Kombat has begun!

Unboxing video for MK Tourney Edition is uploading to YouTube as we speak, and I have to say, I was impressed with what I got. Check the video to see more.

I could've done one for Portal 2 as well, but to be honest, it was just the game. And trust me, I plan on doing a vid review for that as soon as I've played it. I'm hearing it's not that long a game - roughly 5-6 hours each mode - but lord knows I'll play it more than once. Not only that, I still have Killzone 3 to log time on. So all in all, I'll be keeping busy.

One thing I will have to say is that both of the studios involved in these games - Netherrealm and Valve - both did a great job of catering to their fanbase just through the development process via Twitter and the ARG. I know I gave Valve a ration of shit for Portal 2's ARG kinda falling apart at the end, but it turns out, the prizes were pretty damn good for those involved. And I'm sure that they're taking notes about what to do better next time. Both games have been reviewing very well, though MK has gotten knocked a bit for Online play not being up to snuff. I hope that gets fixed, but I gotta wonder....why the hell is it that nobody seems to be getting into BlazBlue territory with quality netcode? I'm also seeing some trophies that are flat ass wrong. Finishing an arcade ladder on the highest difficulty without using a continue is a fucking bronze?!?!? Are you kidding me? And some are just insane. Mastering one character is a reasonable request; it takes 24 logged hours with that character, performing all of their fatalities and getting all their unlocks. However, there's also one that requires you to master all the characters. Hope you're free for the next goddamned year.

I really only got a taste of what's there tonight, and indeed, I haven't even played online yet. Tomorrow will be a much more in-depth sampling of what MK has to offer. But for now, there's one thing I can already tell Ed Boon and company: I forgive you for Armageddon. Now you just need to make up for hiring Bloodstorm's character design artist.

-Trakdown

Guns, Razors, Knives

Holy hell, I've neglected this. Oh, and PORTAL KOMBAT!!

Just goes to show you what can happen when you're taking a full load of classes, preparing for two consecutive looooooong trips and what not.

- Moon Diver. Good idea. Bad execution. Everybody wants to play multi-player Strider with RPG Elements. Nobody wants to play multi-player Strider with RPG elements if one of those elements is a slash limit. It's like if your attack button stopped working every 4th slash or so. Part of what made Strider so awesome was how seamless it was...you only stopped for cutscenes. Now, you also stop for special attacks, which have a fucking unnecessary animation where time stops on the screen. Even worse, if another character is trying to link an attack and you're trying to use a magic skill, it can prevent you from doing so and keep you standing there helpless. Again, good idea, needs improvement.

Also, the story makes no goddamn sense whatsoever. AND FUCK THE LASERS.

- Marvel Vs. Capcom 3 needs some work, STAT. Character cast is meh, balance is fucking gone, online needs an overhaul and options are inexcusably limited. Capcom's already talking about a "super" version, which is something I actually cheered the Vs. series for avoiding up until now.

And sadly, if Hiryu's in it....I'll be picking it up like the consumer whore that I am. Still, 'tis bullshit.

- Today was my first experience with Games for Windows Live, as it's part of Red Faction: Guerilla, a game I'm getting into fairly late d/t not having a big enough drive for all of my Steam games (I've since rectified this).

Let's just say the last time something that unholy and uncooperative appeared, the Ghostbusters had to defeat it by crossing the streams.

- Portal 2 is either out or coming out on Tuesday, depending on:
A)your ability/desire to pirate games

B)your local gaming shop deciding whether or not street dates mean anything.

It may also come out earlier than Tuesday but later than now, depending on the ARG they have going at ApSci's website. Though to be fair, they kinda fumbled the ball in the redzone on this one. Buying/playing a bunch of indie games is great exposure for the indie devs and their products, and it's nice of Valve to try to help them out, but this might have been a bridge too far after a long, drawn out ARG that already took a ton of effort to get any deciphering done. You can't go from "exciting scavenger hunt" to "okay, um....play these games", which most people have taken to be just leaving them open and idling. When you get within a 4 day window of things, it's kind of a moot point, especially when thousands upon thousands of people playing these things has generated a drop of exactly 1 hour early. This is further compounded by the problem that an early release would not be for any copy other than the one on Steam, meaning Console/PC hybrid guys like me are content to wait.

Still, the hidden song "The Device Has Been Modified" was a blast to hear on Audiosurf. I have no doubts that Portal 2 is still going to be awesome, so it's not a big deal that this kind of fell apart on them.

- Pirates and lucky pricks have also been enjoying the new MK early, and thankfully, most spoilers that I've read are fairly innocuous, the biggest one thus far being that Babalities are back. Apparently these each have their own animation, so it could be more welcome than it was before. It may also lead to the return of friendships, which would certainly brighten my day.

The other good news that I just now read about is that Klassic Kostumes are indeed available in the Krypt. Now, I'll be starting off with Ermac and Reptile (Amazon Touney Edition), but it's nice to know I can grab the others. Unfortunately, these are hidden somewhere in the damnable abomination - and I mean that with love - known as the Krypt, which is where you spend Koins on whatever the fuck happens to be in a coffin. Sometimes you get awesome stuff (Kharacters, stages, videos), sometimes you get fucking vapor. As in not-a-goddamned thing. And yet, it's an addicting experience. I guess I just like new stuff. Speaking of which...

- The rumors about "Project Cafe", aka Nintendo's next endeavor, aren't exactly making me giddy with anticipation. Again, Hardware has never been Ninty's problem so long as they weren't asking you to stare at a red screen. I'm intrigued to see what they got, but not expecting anything ground breaking.

- Next update...will be somewhere else.

You Don't Know Trak

Yeah, I'm still excited about it. Even without Gibberish Questions, which they were already kinda sick of doing by the time The Ride dropped, it's still an awesome package. I'm even considering double dipping for the PC version.

Recent news about the NGP - which, I'm wagering is just the codename for Sony's sequel to the PSP - has gotten some the usual launch hysteria. It's a hell of a nice looking device and feature packed to the brim, though it has decided to forgo the 3D route for now. Which is fine by me; 3D is a theater kind of thing. An extra inch or so of depth on a portable isn't exactly something I drool over, but an OLED screen? Awesome.

Of course, this being the internet, I couldn't help but eventually run into some incredibly fucking dumb criticism of this just-now-announced system. One source was from Penny Arcade. PENNY FUCKING ARCADE. Now granted, I don't always think Tycho's on the ball about this stuff. I don't understand how he can get into a furniture-chomping, pants-shitting unholy rage about PlayStation Home - a service which costs nothing and is optional - and merely harrumph about his console of choice having a hardware failure large enough to make it a doorstop. I thought he was down right ill in la cabeza when he decided to buy 2 copies of FFXIII- one for each platform - in some misguided and unnecessary attempt at using his purchase as a vote for multiplatform support.

But this takes the fucking cake.

I really hope they're just joking.

In the event that this is seriously what they thought, let's address the "If they could tell people the price without freaking them out, they would!" nonsense.

The Nintendo 3DS was officially announced as existing on June 15, 2010. The price and release dates were not announced until JANUARY OF THIS GODDAMN YEAR. For the mathematically challenged, that's 6 months plus. So unless Penny Arcade just decided they weren't going to be that hard on Nintendo because of reasons only they know, this is a stupid argument to make. It's a fanboy argument, to be frank.

And hey, I have my own gripes. PR people are not supposed to be responding with questions about price with "It will be affordable." For one, that's not their call, it's ours. For two, that's not all that comforting coming from a man in a dapper suit who makes more in a quarter than I do in a year. "Affordable" can mean a lot of things. College is apparently more affordable than ever, but you're still going to be taking out loans to cover it.

Look, I understand; the NGP is banging. It's loaded with awesome hardware. And for reasons beyond me, people seem to think adding a rear-touchpad is going to be a bank breaker. But could we try to give the hardware that was just announced 4 days ago a little time? There's nothing in those specs that is so space age that this thing has any reason to be all that expensive. And if it is? Don't buy the goddamn thing, and even better, don't even fucking talk about it.