Groucho Marx would be proud.

Dating sims are nothing new in Japan. Indeed, one only look at the Tokimeki Memorial series will tell you it's been going on for quite long enough, thank you very much. While I'm not big on the style of game, probably since I have enough menu based stuff to last me until Christendom, I can understand the appeal. Which is my nice way of saying this hobby attracts some horribly lonely motherfuckers. And while I have my qualms about the genre, I'm generally more likely to shrug, usually on my way to use a satellite cannon on several unsuspecting gits in SD Gundam G Generation Wars.

However, they must know that tolerance for such a medium is a bit of a tightrope walk. Beyond the people who think any love of Japanese culture = loser, there are still some who are just waiting for the genre to do something irreversibly stupid, to loosen the last piton on the rock and send it plummeting out of even the dark corners of gaming into the void.

Which brings me to My Wife. No, not the real one (well, as real as a yet-to-exist being is), the game sharing that title.

I know that Japanese game titles are allowed to not make any fucking sense whatsoever since English isn't their first language. But perhaps somebody should've alerted them that gaming terms and matrimonial ones do cross at a very unfortunate path. So be sure to tune in for the following old-timey accidental comedy bits.

• "Dude, I finally beat My Wife last night!"
• 
  
• "Is Wayne coming over tonight?"
• "Probably not, I let him borrow My Wife and I haven't seen him since."
• 
  
• "How did you get such a high gamerscore?"
• "I cheated on My Wife."
• 
  
• "Where's Paul?"
• "He's at the local Gamestop, probably going to trade in My Wife for Gungrave."
• 
  
• "Overall, X-Play gives My Wife a 3."

Thank you, I'll be here all weekend. Be sure to tip your waitress.

Now that we're done with the hinjinks, I have to say one other thing that they really, really need to not do, every again: If you're going to have a game where matrimony is the goal, for god's sakes, the last thing you need to do is put in a "Little Sister Type" or a "Big Sister Type" or ANY FUCKING SISTER TYPE. And if you're going to, at least change the flag on it to the Rebel flag. It's only fair.