2010 - Welcome, To DIE! (Year in review)

Year end quick notes, since I've got about 50 minutes till the year ends:

• Just finished Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt. Decent series for being weird (this is Gainax, after all), kinda like Powerpuff Girls x Ren and Stimpy. I probably wouldn't give this a repeat viewing, though I will admit I haven't heard the word "fuck" used in Engrish so gratuitously since Air Gear. Short and sweet, awesome soundtrack too!
• Holy hell...I picked up my DJ Hero case, and they mean "case". Thing's heavy and heavy-duty. Look for the video review for this one...
• ...Which will be posted once I get my Sony Bloggie Touch a flexible tripod. I'll be doing a LOT of video this year, though I will still do a write up as well.
• Backlog is still huge, though I did just knock out two anime series in a month. Some day I'll finish AIR and Lucky Star. Game wise, I'll be here awhile.
• THEY NEED TO DO MORE AIR GEAR!!! The Air Gear OVA was awesome, and it made me realize how much I missed this series. It's a great concept with great writing, but for some reason, Ito Ogure can't seem to get this or Tenjou Tenge completed. I blame his studio.
• You Don't Know Jack. 2011. PS3. Eff yeah.
• Pre-ordered Mortal Kombat Tournament Edition. I've never had a legit fight stick before, though I'm looking forward to this one d/t the Happ parts (authentic arcade) and, well, because it'll be an awesome game.
• Looking forward to being able to play games again, got most of them loaded. Probably going to go through Front Mission Evolved.
• Best pickups:

Demon's Soul w/artbook + soundtrack, Resonance of Fate, Resident Evil: Gold Edition w/move support - $20 each.

Deus Ex 1+2, Fear 1 + 2 with ALL DLC - 12 bucks total on Steam.

Guncon 2 Black (Japanese) - $20.

Little Big Planet GOTY edition - 11 bucks.

Big thanks to CheapyD and everyone at cheapassgamer.com for the help in finding some of these deals!

• Gaming fails of the year:

The ending to Snatcher. SUM UP!!!!

Replacing my hard drive on my PS3. Worth it, but man, it was a literal pain.

Strider Hiryu not in MvC3 because "He doesn't fit what we're trying to do with this game. She-Hulk, MODOK and Tron Bonne apparently fit juuuuuuuust fine, but not the most badass futuristic ninja EVER. He had BETTER be DLC.

Retailer-specific fatalities for MK. Granted, it's only a few legacy fatalities, and they'll most likely be available in a bundle later for much cheaper than reserving 3 copies. Still, don't like where this is headed.

DmC. Dante the heroin freak still isn't getting me interested.

Rock Band 3. Don't get me wrong, it's a great game, but buggy as fuck. Sucks to have

a game crash just because you selected a certain song.

• Gaming wins of the year:

The return of the 90s: New MvC, New Mortal Kombat, New Tekken, New Street Fighter, New You Don't Know Jack? Awesome. Now if only NBA Jam wasn't ass.

Kratos in MK. Talk about a natural.

PS Move. Motion control that actually works with core gaming and vice versa.

Kinect. Not for what MS has it doing, but for the other applications that users have been

using it for. Some seriously awesome stuff coming out!

PS2 HD revivals. Great idea, especially looking forward to the Team ICO stuff!

• You know what? I've said too much already. Things are going to pick up steam realllllllllly quickly. Stay tuned for more. 2011 is going to rock!

-Trakdown

Review: Victory Gundam

Well, I'm at a loss here.

I'm not even sure of what to make of Victory Gundam. This won't be a long review, because I'm still processing it.

Indeed it is, Jackie. Indeed it is.

There's really not much in this series that is get-up-out-of-your-seat exciting. There's a few good episodes, but nothing spectacular. It's not ZZ Gundam horrible by any means, but I just kind of feel like Yoshiyuki Tomino turned in an incomplete paper. If it's possible for a 51 episode anime to feel rushed, this would be it. In fact, this kind of feels like a 2nd attempt at F91.

This leads to a lot of things just *happening*. People start getting certain powers for no reason. People lose their goddamned minds with little-to-no reason why. Fuala Griffon starts out as a reasonable, Haman Kahn type commander and returns later as a psychotic version of Chara Soon with an even dumber gimmick: sleigh bells. I'm dead fucking serious.

Speaking of which, part of the reason the series is just so stilted is the amount of 20+ year old women talking to 13-year-old Usso Evin in very sexually suggestive ways. Seriously, this is the least subtle Shotacon anime I've ever seen, and I've watched Mahoromatic. For Christ's sakes, Usso even ends up naked in the bathtub with a female soldier. And to top it off, one of the weapons employed against him near the end?

Scantily clad women.

Yeah, not exactly the satellite cannon duel from Gundam X, is it?

By now, you've noticed that I've not talked about plot much. That's because I can't fucking tell you what it is. I know that the federation has fallen apart, they've fallen victim to the Zanscare Empire, the League Militaire (think AEUG from Zeta) is fighting them and Usso's really good at fighting. Beyond that, details get fuzzy because very little in this anime ever gets an explanation. Katejina Loos, in particular, is completely puzzling as a villain. Best I can figure is that she is stone cold fucking nuts.

Wouldn't be the first time.

So yeah, there's mecha battles, nudity, crazy women and some bizzare shit going on that doesn't explain itself well enough for anyone to really concern themselves with.

Verdict: For completionists only. Like I said, it's not ZZ Gundam bad, but considering that this story really doesn't go anywhere (and is 51 episodes long), I can't really recommend it. I only watched it because I'm a completionist and I wanted to be done with the UC timeline (well, except for Unicorn). While the mech battles are fairly well done, the designs aren't all that hot - the Victory Mk II being an exception- and aren't worth the time investment. The ending is remarkably unsatisfactory as well.

Hard Drive is updated.

Now if only I was awake enough to play. :(

2nd round KO: Trakdown wins, hard drive loses.

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal!

Ya miserable fucking cunt piece of shit! >:O

*flings hard drive, smashes window*

I warned ya, PS3. I ain't nobody to fuck wit'. Especially not when I'm packing a $10 set of screw extractors, a pistol grip power drill with high-torque chuck and a high from finishing my classes for the semester.

The item I'm holding in that picture is indeed the PS3's OEM hard drive: An 80gb Seagate Momentus. The hard drive in my hand from the earlier blog is still in the anti-static bag, but once I get the other two screws out (groan) and get replacements that aren't made of Play-doh, I'll be rollin'.

Stay tuned- the saga continues, though not for long.

UPDATE: Other two screws came along quietly. Good for them. Tomorrow I should be back up and running! :D

-Trakdown

Round 2.

Got some screw extractors, and finals are almost over- hopefully tomorrow night will be the end game for both school and my hard drive fight.

A Truly Frustrating Gaming Moment

The item you see above is a 500GB hard drive. This is supposed to be in my PlayStation 3 by now.

Unfortunately, due to an unforeseen afternoon of nearly Sisyphean work , it still lays in its anti-static bag. In electronic stasis, or perhaps a comatose state. This is because Sony used fucking marshmallows and tin to make their goddamned hard drive caddy screws, which are screwed in tight enough that they might as well be welded. This ensures that while the 1/4 inch son-of-a-bitch head of the screw stays firmly in socket, you can carve your name into the goddamn screw-head and strip the fucker because it's made out of taffy. So yeah, it's not for lack of want, I just can't get the stupid screws out to throw the new one in!!

Fuck you, blue screw. I hate you more than Survival Arts. >:(

So, like a good boy (though a dumb one: I should have looked earlier), I checked the internet to find out that this is a very common problem. Also, for solutions I found out that people have had luck using needle nose pliers to rotate the screw enough that it will give. Well, I tried that. Two things happened. For one, I've scraped pretty much all the blue off of the screw. For two...

I've pinched my index finger on my right hand enough to give myself two solid blood blisters. See, there's not a ton of clearance on that drive bay, nor is there a lot of purchase on the edge of that goddamn screw, so it slips and it pinches my hand every time.

So, that's where I leave off tonight- pissed off, big fat zero on gaming time, hurt hand and my new hard drive still sitting there waiting to be installed. Oh, and I've filed off a good part of the drive bay. Plus, one of those two other screws isn't budging either. My options from here:

1. Hope to God (Goenitz might be preferable in this case) that my mom has a cutting wheel left for her Dremel tool so I can slot these screws and try again with a flat head screw driver.

2. Pay for a screw extractor and hope that works.

Goddamn it, Sony. Goddamn it.

-Trakdown

Review: Snatcher (Sega CD)

Please hold your "ZOMG HE POSTED" comments until the end of the tour.

Sometimes when I reach into the good ol' backlog, I reach really far. But with finals coming up, I can't really get into a big epic of a game, so I decided to finally beat up on a game that's been tormenting me for years: Snatcher. And since I didn't see any translation patches for the Playstation version, I went with the only one with english voices: The Sega CD Version.

To be fair, if you're going to play a Sega CD game, might as well be this one.

A word of warning: If you're into fast action, guns-a-blazing, destroy everything gameplay...well, you'll get a bite, and no more. There are some shooting scenes, but they are few and far between. There's a lot of text and a lot of talk, and with good reason: Not only is this an adventure game (with a joypad, no less!), it's a Hideo Kojima game. Yep, from when he did things other than Metal Gear. So get ready for lots of story and occasional action scenes, with worse balance between the two than any trip Solid Snake ever took. Seriously, you'd be begging for MGS2's finale after this.

Note he isn't actively manipulating a joypad. You won't be either.

All the Halo players out of the room now? Good. Let's continue.

In an adventure game, the most important thing is the story. Sure, you need to have puzzles and traps, and usually something to at least threaten your life (Monkey Island being one exception). Here, you've got all three, but while the story in Snatcher is fairly good and not nearly as predictable as it first seems, it's not exactly original. There's a LOT of borrowed material in it- the game itself is a cyberpunk story a la Blade Runner, but there's also stuff borrowed from other Konami games. Your cybernetic partner is Metal Gear Mark II- you may know him from Metal Gear Solid 4, and he's introduced with the "ta-ra" theme from Metal Gear 2/MGS 1. Here, however, he talks, though it's not always a positive experience. It's kind of like C-3PO and the computer from M.A.S.K. had a kid. He also saves your game, totes evidence and is a phone, so at least he's useful. This is in addition to the numerous easter eggs, including a night club where Goemon, Bill and Lance from Contra, Sparkster, Dracula and Simon Belmont and even the boss from Lethal Enforcers show up!

Also, strippers. Feel free to make chauvinistic responses to that question.

You play as Gillian Seed, new assignee to the Junkers, a special detective unit. Some mechanized asshole Terminator wannabes are going around snatching the skin off of people (thus the name) and parading around as them. Since the rules state that such a thing is illegal outside of Mortal Kombat, you're required to go out and take them down, as well as find their hideout. Though like MK, there is a fair amount of blood/gore/yucky stuff because of their hobby. You do this by talking, looking, inspecting, using items and all the other wonderful things that you never, EVER get to do in real life.

Now, one problem with this is that you kind of need to understand how adventure games work. Thankfully, you're not fucking with a parser interface this time around- for you youngins, this is where you had to type in a sentence to get your character to do something and hope to god you wrote it the same way the pricks who coded the game did. Here, though, there are events that you have to take care of to trigger forward motion in the game. These aren't always clear, and sometimes, you end up doing things that you've already done multiple times just to kill time so that an event can happen. While I don't think there are any game breaking bugs here, it does add to your play time tremendously if you can't figure those times out. Thankfully, you're often given clues to help with the other parts, but I can also see people not knowing how to hit event triggers- they can be cryptic.

You ain't progressin' until she cheers up. And no, you can't shout "STOP FUCKING CRYING!" to speed it up.

To be fair, this is a good thing. Yes, I blew through this game in 8 hours, but I did it with a guide precisely because I don't have time to wait things out. Honestly, I don't think anybody would ever get stuck that bad- you'll eventually try everything and trigger it by accident if some other character hasn't flat told you what's going on. And really, games were bloody expensive back then. Maybe it's good that your $60-85 game lasted you forever.

So if getting stuck isn't that big a problem, what is? Well, we've got the shooting scenes. They're not really that hard, it's basically playing whack-a-mole with a joypad. You can use a light gun with it, but a) good luck finding one, b)I doubt you still have access to a Sega CD, Light Gun, copy of this game AND a CRT tv to boot and c)the light gun is actually harder to use. That's gotta be a first. These scenes are all pretty manageable, with the exception of the 2nd-to-last shootout where there's some shenanigans going on.

Most boring. Gun. Game. Ever.

But that's all an aside to the story, and I gotta tell ya: I understand the complaints about Metal Gear. I mean, at least with MG, you can shut the VA's up and just read the text for important info. Here, though, EVERYTHING is spoken. While the VA work is fine here, I really don't need the chief to reiterate everything I just did in the chapter prior. The ending is a fucking test of your patience, as you get to hear somebody drone on for 25 FUCKING MINUTES, all while your character, who is armed, sits there and lets him.

"GET TO THE POINT ALREADY!"

I find this actually hurts the game, since at least some of this could've been explained in the game. Thankfully, the soundtrack, while repetitive at points (Junker HQ is literally a 6 second loop) is still awesome overall, so at least that's one thing less to worry about. Overall, the atmosphere combines a bright neon future with a techy score, but still manages to keep a dark tone about itself through great graphics and a well drawn dystopia to interact with.

Besides, what other game lets you INVESTIGATE REMAINS? Pokemon Silver, sure, but besides that?

Snatcher's a fine game, and I would recommend playing through it. I doubt you'll play it again after your first instance, partly because adventure games are pretty much linear, and partly because you might want to keep your pulse up a little bit. Not the best game ever, but not horrible, and aside from Sonic CD, one of the only reasons the Sega CD should ever have existed. Just be aware that this IS a Hideo Kojima ADVENTURE game and you'll know exactly what to expect.

Oh, and get comfy when the ending starts. You'll be there awhile.

Move, Bitch.

So this week is apparently alternative control method week. Here's the story so far:

1. Broke out my GunCon2 (black version, $20 off of ebay which is beyond a steal) and loaded up some Gunbarl, or Point Blank if you're nasty-ish. Still plays great, and thankfully the graphic style doesn't need to be brought up to date. Time Crisis 1, unfortunately, is complete pixelated ass. I mean, I don't remember Virtua Cop looking this bad. But that might be my fault.

2. DJ Hero. Bought it for 20 bucks, opened the box. That's...it so far.

But the big release of last week was the Playstation Move, which I finally got a chance to demo. I was a little apprehensive at first; I mean, the Wii was fun, but the presentation and depth just wasn't there. I mean, after all, swinging a baseball bat is just swinging a baseball bat. Full disclosure: I ditched the Wii long before Motion+ was even announced. So I didn't know what to expect here.

Wow.

So far, I've only played a few games off the Sports Champions disc- Disc Golf, Table Tennis and Archery. But Archery was a hit (and yes, I'm ashamed of that pun) with me. Just the fact that it was so natural in line with motions (you pantomime pulling the arrow from the quiver on your back, loading it into the bow, pulling back and releasing) was amazing, and years ahead of what I found with the Wii. Sure, it's not a marathon game, but it's great in a pinch.

I also tried out Eyepet. Fun, but way beneath my age group.

Anime-wise, I decided to get off of Tomino-exile and give Victory Gundam a shot. I'm only 4 episodes in, so it'll be awhile before I can comment fully.

Jump in (a lake)

I've tried, repeatedly, to push myself to buy an XBOX 360. The surprise here is that honestly, there was a wiiiiiiiide fucking chasm of enthusiasm that was left when MGS4, rather than delight me, forced me to test the impact resistance of a SIXAXIS controller. That game was the reason I decided to buy a PS3, and this was at a point where there was a dearth of stuff yet to come. So I was disappointed, and really, I probably could've switched and probably would've if I didn't run the risk of buying a system that had to be sent to an infirmary via a parcel service, therefore depriving me of a console.

It's hard to argue I made a bad decision just with that info. But I can't imagine owning a 360 right now and being happy with some of the latest goings-on. I had thought earlier of a comparison between the two systems' online offerings, both basic and premium. The premiums basically came down to a choice between joining a book-of-the-month club with (thus far) admittedly shitty books or ones you already owned, and an approach more akin to a ransom note tied to a brick and thrown through your window once a year, demanding payment in exchange for your friend's list. It's your $50, spend it wisely- even if it's on neither item.

But how bad is this increase for Live? For me, it's horrible form, and it doesn't even change my online gaming capability. It's not even that bad an increase, at less than an extra dollar a month, but just the idea of it sucks. I don't have the numbers for certain, but I know that there was a fairly small, yet vocal group of PS3 owners who hated the drop of Backwards compatibility. There was an even smaller group that pitched a fit when the "Other OS" feature was dropped. But who doesn't fucking use Live gold on the 360? You need it to use Netflix for god's sake.

And I want to make clear: there's no fanboy lens here. I certainly can imagine it wouldn't be beneath Sony to decide to start charging for their online offerings. I don't know why they haven't yet, nor do I understand the lack of cross game chat. I fear that I will be pulled out of those fogs simultaneously. One thing's for sure, I'm not in any rush to pick up another system. At least I only risk being hustled once, for now.

Back online.

It's a bizarre thing to be on gaming hiatus for so long, but now that I'm done moving, I've finally had time to get back into gaming, somewhat. PS3 is hooked back up, PS2 soon to follow, Gamerang fired back up. PSP hasn't been touched, and I do need to fix that soon- Star Ocean isn't going to finish itself.

PSN+ still hasn't proven itself worthy, though I'll give it some time. Red Faction: Guerilla isn't a horrible game, and it's definitely something I wouldn't mind having on my hard drive, but I've already got it on my PC, which I'm currently building. Give me Warhawk as the free game for that month, give me access to the beta for FFXIV, give me something substantial. I sincerely expect September's offering to be, at best, a discount on Gauntlet II and Heavy Rain for rental. Then again, it's reasonable to expect a slow month when Madden comes out.

When this generation started, I began my forum life on PS3forums.com. It's not a bad place, honestly, but due to a desire to actually enjoy my games rather than yell at people about them, I kinda gave up the forum poster lifestyle. But I did make a rather prophetic statement: That Nintendo's attitudes towards 3rd parties was going to cause problems. Lo and behold, we now have had 2 games - at least - that are giving away HD versions of previous Wii exclusives with new games. The latest being NBA Jam, which is somewhat baffling; I don't know who would prefer a sim-style basketball game, yet still make time for an arcade game with horrible rubberbanding. I do know that, for somebody who played the original, HD+Online is much more appealing than a remix mode and boss battles since I don't remember asking for those when I had the original. Least of all would I pass up the latter for the former at a 39.99 premium.

SD Gundam G Generation Wars has turned out to be a new kind of fun for me: the more I figure out of the game, the better I like it. It's as if it found that part of my brain that I haven't had tickled in a while. Really, there's no simpler joy than a celebration for unlocking the ability to have the Gundam X crew helm your ship, at least not yet- I have entertained the possibility of having a dream team crew that would never happen in the normal Gundam continuity. I'm about to unlock the cinematic version of the satellite cannon, which is much better than the light-saberish map version. I get the feeling that this game may still retain my attention for a long, long time.

Fanime! E3! Backlogathon! Summer Sucks!

My absence from my blog is, at least, not entirely my fault: in the corner of my room sits a collection of parts from what used to be a computer. My computer, to be exact. For some reason, the sunovabitch just doesn't want to get past POST, and I have not yet had the money to replace it. Come August, I will attempt to continue my blogging ways, though then time will be a hard-found commodity. There are going to be some days when I leave for work at 6am and don't come back home till 9 at night. But why trouble you with my problems when there's actual fun stuff to talk about?

FANIME 2010: The Revenge

(Editor's note: It is the policy of this establishment that when a 2nd happening of something occurs that is an improvement on an already fun time, it shall be given the same subtitle as the sequel to the wonderful 1980's arcade game, Taito's Double Dragon. It is also the policy to not continue using the subtitles of the Double Dragon series for any happening after that, since those games were fucking horrible. My apologies to anybody who was looking forward to Fanime 2011: The Rosetta Stones.)

So, it finally happened. I had begun planning for Fanime 2010 roughly a month or two after the Fanime 2009 was over. Sadly, our plans to stay on an executive level room were squashed by hotel management, but we were still put fairly out of the way and didn't have to deal with a whole lot of noise.

Prep was actually quite amusing, and easier than I thought. I found out that Rayon shirts are ass for absorbing paint, but take fabric markers fairly well. After about 3 of them, I had completed work on my cosplay, and voila:

Black Lagoon! From left to right: Tiffany Gock as Revy, Jonas Fairfield (Me) as Benny, Jason Shaird as Dutch.

Not Pictured: Rock, due to logistical issues

My friends Tiffany and Jason, who were nice enough to come all the way from Arizona to partake in this madness, did a hell of a job with their outfits. We got noticed and photographed, even had a fellow congoer rush to recognize us. Sure, we didn't get anywhere near the attention as many other cosplayers, but A)we didn't drop in anywhere near the money they did on their stuff, B)we weren't there primarily to have our pictures taken, and C)that left us free to do other stuff. Our two California contacts, Jon and John, also got some recognition for great outfits from Speed Grapher and Trigun, respectively.

ANIME: One reason I go to these things is to get an idea of what to watch. Sure, I went on my Gundam kick for a bit, and I enjoyed it, but then ZZ threw up a nice brick wall. I'm still on self-imposed Tomino-exile. So at Fanime, I got into a few more series. Here's what I discovered:

K-On!: Okay, why is there so much hate for this anime? Not grimdark enough? Anyways, this was a very funny, kinda whimsical anime that I've continued to enjoy. I'll grant that the music certainly isn't always my taste ("Light and Fluffy Time"), but it's good enough and secondary to the plot anyways.

The Tower of Druaga: This one surprised me, since I'd actually played the original ToD in the arcade. It's not a particularly good game- the best thing about it is the fanfare that plays before each round starts. Here I thought we were going to have our typical medieval anime, and it turned out to be reallllly funny. The first episode was hilarious, and I'm kinda kicking myself for not following up, but in my defense, I did get sidetracked by the excellent Dennou Coil and Ramen Fighter Miki. Will pick back up on later.

Speed Grapher: This was shown in a cool down session we had in our hotel room. I don't really know enough about it yet, but I would recommend it just for the dark, supernatural mood and some of the more notable aspects of it, like a camera being a weapon.

Shangri-La: Didn't get to watch too much of this, but it looks like it could be good.

AVGN: Yeah, yeah, it's not anime (well, not yet), but I do have to say one of the most fun things ever was watching Angry Video Game Nerd in a room full of fans. I'd really like to stay for the whole marathon next year, as we only caught more of his recent stuff (Action 52, Street Fighter 2010).

Food-wise, we found a couple of awesome places up the street from the convention center, and best of all, they weren't death knells for our wallets. Our first stop was Iguanas, a small mexican food restaurant housed in a...well, a house. The food was excellent though, with my Iguana Nachos being very tasty. Next year, I think we're going to actually have to bite the bullet and order a burritozilla (their 5-lb burrito) just to say we did. Bonus points to this place for having a live soul band in the next room, belting out a great rendition of D'Angelo's "Untitled (How Does It Feel)".

O_O

Right next door is a place called the Hydration Station, which, fittingly enough is an Asian restaurant. They had some great dishes, most less than 6 bucks. A lot of us opted for the Curry over Rice for a cool $4.50 and their seasonal Watermelon Juice with Pearls. It was all rather good, and much better than blowing the same amount on a value meal from McDonald's.

Oh, and props to Jason for blowing 40 some-odd on beers at Hilton. Next round's on me.

All in all, a great trip, though I would say my one big complaint is that it was impossible to get any decent internet speed in the rooms over ethernet. This mainly means that next year, I need to get a laptop full of media and an HDMI cord and play it that way.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

While I'm here, I might as well break out my E3 review.

Nintendo clearly had the best showing with the 3DS, but upon further review, I'm not sure the lineup's all that great. Super Street Fighter IV is a great game, but on portable? And after it's been out for how long? So, conceptually, it's awesome, but I need more concrete stuff before I consider whether to buy it or not. Leaning towards doing so, though.

PlayStation Move: Honestly, wouldn't even be interested if it weren't for Heavy Rain and Time Crisis Raizing Storm, but the allure of an ONLINE MULTIPLAYER LIGHT GUN GAME is too much to pass up. Seriously, that's incredibly awesome.

PSN+ sounds like it could actually be a great idea, but I'm still waiting to see what it's offering.

Kinect...woo, boy. There's already been numerous shitstorms over this, but the bottom line, as I've said, is marketing. That's going to determine whether or not it succeeds. I worry that it might.

As to its voice command feature:

I'm so doing that to my Xbox owning friends. >:)

I am considering picking up the 360 slim for the holidays.

Portal 2 is looking great, and one announcement that actually did shock me was the PS3 being its lead platform for consoles. Gabe Newell 180'd on his previous notion that the PS3 wasn't worth it, and now, we're even going to be getting cloud saves for P2. Very good news, though most likely I'll be on PC for Glados' second coming.

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention what was my game of the show, Mortal Kombat.

Yes. You read that right. Mortal F'N Kombat.

Sure, Armageddon was an atrocity, and MK Vs. DC, while fun, wasn't enough to keep it afloat. But damned if Boon and Tobias didn't somehow get their shit together recently. Basically, the new MK (Simply titled Mortal Kombat, kinda like they did with Rambo) is going to be a revitalized 2.5d fighter, almost like a current gen version of MKII. Additions include an X-ray move, basically a super, which allows you to deal lots of damage in a heavily detailed way. One example showed Sub-Zero freezing a kombatant's liver and shattering it. Fatalities are back, and by back, I mean we're not dealing with the atrocious cookie cutter fatality system from Armageddon, nor the "heroic brutality" BS from MK Vs. DC.

No, this time, I mean Mileena drinks blood from your head. Seriously.

Also, they decided to reboot the storyline. It sounds a little convoluted, but honestly, if it gets them out of the mess they made in Deception, more power to 'em. Also, this means that any character past pt. 3 is probably not going to be in. Why is that good, that these character designs are gone? Well, they suck. And why do they suck?

Because.. THEY WERE MADE BY THE SAME GUY WHO DID THE CHARACTER DESIGNS FOR FUCKING BLOODSTORM!!!!!11!!

Really all that needs to be said. :/

I'm psyched, and I'm even considering picking up a 3D TV to enjoy the festivities. That's right, this and Gran Turismo 5 are both pushing me in that direction. We'll see what happens.

In the meantime, I've actually made some progress on my evil backlog. I knocked out Beyond Good & Evil, and I have to say, that's one hell of an excellent game. Good to hear Michael Ancel recently announced that the sequel does still exist and is being worked on, though per him, it will take "awhile". I also knocked out Resident Evil 4, which was a great game, though I'm starting to question the "horror" part in "survival horror". Packing an arsenal like Leon's isn't exactly a frightening prospect, though he starts out with a useless-ass handgun.

Anywho, for the meantime, I'm without computer, though I hope to remedy this come August if not sooner.

-Trakdown

P.S. SUMMER SUCKS!!!

ZZ Gundam, or KAMILLE BIDAN OMG

I'm not entirely sure how I feel about Gundam ZZ. But I know I'm on the side of "I really didn't need to watch that." The question is how far.

Where to begin? Well, here's a quick primer.

It's fucking goofy for the first 25 episodes or so. Seriously, there's actual Gundam physical humor in there. There's Bright Noa trying to catch the chicken that just landed on his head. There's the little fucking brats that (*spoiler alert) are actually going to outlive Hayato Kobayashi. There's unnecessary plot twists that defuse the story. There's an incessant need to remind people that they still cling to the One Year War legacies. There's the EXACT SAME GODDAMNED ENEMY STRUCTURE AS IN ZETA.

And that's really the biggest flaw of ZZ- it's not a new series. Paptimus Scirocco is played by Glemy Toto. Haman Kahn is still your main enemy, only this time Char's not around in dark sunglasses. The main character is somebody who ends up in the Gundam and isn't supposed to. Bright, being who he is, shrugs and says "fuck it". And in the end, it all comes down to a fight where machines start suddenly getting unbelievable power from dead people, some of whom the main character never met.

These fights, btw, are ridiculous. Talk as much shit about Gundam 0083 as you want, at least the Neue Ziel and the Dendrobium Orchis were just two machines containing pilots who matched skills. The finales for Zeta and Double Zeta are just Dragon Ball Z fights with mechs and a shorter schedule. And the mechs are mainly vessels for their OVER 9000 antics.

There's the random cyber-newtype somehow getting the hero to go "Yeah, you're my sister, I'm you're brother" even though all they do is threaten to throw a tantrum until he relents. There's the violent cyber-newtype that the hero eventually wins over through his refusal to fight. There's the Feddie brass still being colossal cocks and fucking everyone over. There's the Zeon heads who have no idea what the fuck ideals the original Zeon had.

And even the new stuff is retarded. "Hey, I know we're at war with a bloodthirsty, cultish regime that drops colonies on the planet like a meth addict drops weight. And I know my friends just decided to fuck us over by giving away our position to them in exchange for protection and a place in their society. For the second time. But I just can't stay mad at those knuckleheads. :)"

This is why I could never be a Gundam character. Here's some choice lines you would've heard:

"Bitch, I don't know you, you don't know me, so sit there and cry and piss your pampers all you want, but to quote a great fictional soldier, I, AM NOT, YO' DAMN BROTHER!"

"So they gave away our position and decided they'd be better off with Zeon, huh? Gather the crew, I've got some trash I need to feed to the airlock, just in case any other delinquents think treason's a bold career move."

"Oh, so you don't want me assigning my own pilots? You want these low-rent ensign redshirts in my fucking Gundams? No wonder your last test pilot almost bought it against a Zaku (no offense to the wonderful Christina Mackenzie, btw). Yeah, let's just put that with the rest of your great ideas, like leaving a nuclear bazooka-packing Gundam unlocked with the keys in the ignition."

(Ed. Note: Seriously, Gato didn't even have to unbend a coat hanger to jack the Physalis. Why it took till Unicorn to get a Gundam with a biometric sensor locked to one person, I'll never know. At least Gundam X made it so you had to have the key.)

"Wait, why do we give a shit about this drooling moron? ...A former hero, you say? Yeah, well now, he's Vins Clortho from Ghostbusters as seen through interpretive dance. Give me a ring when he's up for piloting a suit. He appears to be too occupied making derp faces."

Speaking of which, this series fucking loves Kamille Bidan. The whole experience was basically Tomino saying "Hey, Zeta was awesome, wasn't it? And that Kamille kid, wow" while nudging you in the gut as if it's a great joke or something. And he does it every five fucking minutes, only to beat you soundly over the head with it at the end. We get it, dude. You're gay for Kamille. Enough. Write the Yaoi Dojin and move the fuck on.

Other annoying/retarded things:

* The "I love you...psyche! BADOOM" game between Glemy Toto (which is actually an old gaelic term meaning "character that goes in many directions and ends up nowhere) and Roux Louka, member of the Gundam Name Repetition Club with Sai Saici and Roybeav Roy.

* The unending yelling matches. Whether it was Puru with Elle, Puru with Louka, Puru with Judau, Louka with Elle, Elle with Beecha....goddamn, stow it and go out there and fuck somebody up, you idiots. Better that then hearing you whine at each other in loud volumes and ending with your nose turned up and your arms crossed.

* The Haman Kahn fan club. Jesus Christ on a crutch, how many fucking soliloquy spouting whipped buttwits does this woman employ?

* The writing, on the whole. Hey, you know how Mineva Zabi was in peril the whole time? It wasn't her, it was a fake! That's just one of the numerous abortions in this thing, and here's the gag: You're supposed to just go "oh please, it was her, we all know it." Puru Two's fate? It's implied that she dies. Kinda hard to believe "Kill 'em all" Tomino can't be bothered to write about somebody dying. At least the writing that was missing from 0083 ended up in some physical form somewhere. Here, you just kinda shrug and say "Well, I guess that..." and insert theory here.

*Finally, if I ever have to hear another goddamn Gundam protag saying "ADULTS RUIN EVERYTHING", I'm summoning Shonen Bat and getting him a ticket to Narita International to visit Bandai.

All in all, ZZ Gundam proves one thing: Sometimes recycling belongs in the trash. I forced myself to watch this so I can say I've experienced the whole UC saga, and this is the low point so far.

But I still have Char's Counterattack and Victory Gundam to go. I think I know how the Angry Video Game Nerd feels.

/Swigs Rolling Rock

-Trakdown

Groucho Marx would be proud.

Dating sims are nothing new in Japan. Indeed, one only look at the Tokimeki Memorial series will tell you it's been going on for quite long enough, thank you very much. While I'm not big on the style of game, probably since I have enough menu based stuff to last me until Christendom, I can understand the appeal. Which is my nice way of saying this hobby attracts some horribly lonely motherfuckers. And while I have my qualms about the genre, I'm generally more likely to shrug, usually on my way to use a satellite cannon on several unsuspecting gits in SD Gundam G Generation Wars.

However, they must know that tolerance for such a medium is a bit of a tightrope walk. Beyond the people who think any love of Japanese culture = loser, there are still some who are just waiting for the genre to do something irreversibly stupid, to loosen the last piton on the rock and send it plummeting out of even the dark corners of gaming into the void.

Which brings me to My Wife. No, not the real one (well, as real as a yet-to-exist being is), the game sharing that title.

I know that Japanese game titles are allowed to not make any fucking sense whatsoever since English isn't their first language. But perhaps somebody should've alerted them that gaming terms and matrimonial ones do cross at a very unfortunate path. So be sure to tune in for the following old-timey accidental comedy bits.

• "Dude, I finally beat My Wife last night!"
• 
  
• "Is Wayne coming over tonight?"
• "Probably not, I let him borrow My Wife and I haven't seen him since."
• 
  
• "How did you get such a high gamerscore?"
• "I cheated on My Wife."
• 
  
• "Where's Paul?"
• "He's at the local Gamestop, probably going to trade in My Wife for Gungrave."
• 
  
• "Overall, X-Play gives My Wife a 3."

Thank you, I'll be here all weekend. Be sure to tip your waitress.

Now that we're done with the hinjinks, I have to say one other thing that they really, really need to not do, every again: If you're going to have a game where matrimony is the goal, for god's sakes, the last thing you need to do is put in a "Little Sister Type" or a "Big Sister Type" or ANY FUCKING SISTER TYPE. And if you're going to, at least change the flag on it to the Rebel flag. It's only fair.

Internet improvements.

First off, anyone else getting sick of this: Having to get up and adjust the volume on a youtube video because the fuckwit who encoded it can't set the audio level at anything below "audible in neighboring counties". The worst is with ads, which makes it sound like they're playing it through a shitty 1985 radio with bad reception at full volume right next to my fucking ears. Then, once this crackly, speaker-damaging, eardrum-busting air-raid siren's worth of advertising bullfuck is done, I can't hear the video I actually chose to watch because I dared to turn the volume down and keep my windows intact. It's irritating to have "HEY FUCKER JOIN THE GODDAMN ARMY TODAY!" blaring from my speakers and splitting the subwoofer on my 2.1 in half and then not be able to hear Static-X a few seconds later. I know the FCC is still stuck in the 30s, but can we bring back a standard from my childhood and have everything broadcast at the same decibel level, preferably one that doesn't drown out the F-15's flying overhead?

Btw, if anybody's pulling out the "If it's too loud, you're too old" line- how much you wanna bet every cocksucker that's ever pulled that line had to start wearing a hearing aid and have everything half-yelled at his stupid ass - twice - once he hit 50?

Also, can we suspend a business license for a website if I have to put in my user name and password every time I want to login, even though the first time I signed up and every time I've been at the authentication screen, the fucking radio button marked "KEEP ME LOGGED IN" has been ticked?! Did you think I was joking? Or does logic in coding elude you? Christ, I can figure out radio buttons and I don't run one of these things.

...Or not.

Just saw the screenshots for ACE-R. Still considering it.

Minus One

So, just got a hold of some of the blog translations for the info about ACE-R (PS3).

Series roster list is complete. No other series to be added.

1-3 Robots per series at most.

No Vocal Tracks.

So essentially, the KOFXII'd it. Lovely.

Not so quick to buy it anymore. Maybe I'll pick it up next year.

Return of The ACE, or Behold! A Game Series You Don't Play!

First off, some exciting news. I'll be moving soon, thankfully to a living quarters that doesn't require me to live in a room with temperature problems. Also to a room where I can:

A)Paint (!)

B)Install my own lighting (!!)

C)Install a few other things. (?)

(The last part is supposed to be me being coy and not telling you what I have planned. Suffice to say, I'll be a very happy gamer once I'm done.)

This + me going back to school full-time means big changes for me. I'm very happy about that, though it will most likely mean I'll have no time to game at all between now and Christmas. Thankfully, next year, I plan only on working part-time (26 hours at most) and school full-time with lighter loads in the Summer.

Anywho, a few check in notes:

Origin Gundam: Great movies, don't know about the series and don't want to- I know I don't get to see the Gundam Hammer, but I've used it enough in Gundam Battle Assault 2 to know what it is. Final scene with Char is one of the most awesome in all of Anime. Tem Ray is a cock. Amuro's actually tolerable in this one. Watch merely for the historic value, and because it's the last time Char Aznable is somewhat respectable.

Zeta Gundam: Good series that I almost didn't get through because the first episode got on my fucking nerves like no other. Protagonist is angsty and continues a proud Gundam tradition wherein the main character must end at least one episode crying like a bitch in his bed. At least Kamille's got good reason (and no, I'm not referring to his hang up about his name). Char fools approximately 0 people as Quattro Bajeena. Long series, weird ending. Watchable enough.

08th MS Team: Very well written Gundam series that relies less on the fantastic and more on the dramatic. It's also the series where I began to realize there's a formula for every Gundam series (and I mean just 1 for all of them), but it plays out well enough. Shiro Amada swipes the Supreme Dork award from 0083's Kou Uraki for a few episodes before becoming sufficiently awesome. Supporting characters are very well done, and Zeon actually looks somewhat respectable in this one. Theme song kicks ass. Watch it.

ZZ Gundam: In progress. AKA Slapstick Gundam. Lighthearted. Comedy's good, but mech designs are uninspired. Also, as good as the comedy may be, it reduces both sides to Grand Mal Herp Derp status on occasion. Enemies are especially idiotic when not being downright bizzare, and there's at least 3 so far that qualify for Trakdown's Airlock Fodder Award. Takes too long to become its own series. Verdict still to come.

Full Metal Panic? Fumoffu!: Fucking hilarious. Also Slapsticky, but it's supposed to be. Not really Mecha unless you count Bonta-Kun. Don't come in expecting the same thing as FMP and you'll get a kick out of it. Highly recommended.

Nerima Daikon Brothers: 9/12th's of the way through. Had to find the last 4 episodes with actual subtitles since my dialectic Japanese is worse than my Farsi, which I don't speak. Also fucking hilarious with great music by the same guy who did "Katamari On The Swing" from We Love Katamari. He also does some of the voice acting. Watch it!

Gundam F91- Way, way too brief. Obviously rushed into a movie, but still excellent viewing. Cecily Fairchild is Relena Peacecraft done right. Seabook Arno is the fucking man. Go ahead, watch it: It's not long and it's really well done.

Turn A Gundam- Have it, haven't watched it yet. Pringles Gundam still weird. More later.

Victory Gundam- Have it, watched one episode, went back to focus on ZZ since I was already a 3rd of the way through. Doesn't look atrocious....yet.

While we're on the subject of mostly Mecha, btw....THERE'S A NEW ANOTHER CENTURY'S EPISODE GAME COMING OUT FOR PS3!!!

Yep, thankfully, From Software also doesn't know the meaning of the word "final", even though their last ACE game was not just final, but The Final. Good news for us mecha fans. Not too pleased with the list so far, though it is nice to see FMP getting in on the action. My guess is that there's going to be a ton of DLC for access to previous Mechs, hopefully with their own storyline. Also, online co-op would be great. This and Gundam Extreme Versus (aka Bandai finally put the Gundam Vs. series on PS3 hardware) is making me a very happy gamer for this year.

And that's just imports.

Heavy Rain's demo, while the control is still unfamiliar, was a lot of fun and looks to be a wonderful experience. FFXIII...well, it could be fun. Yakuza 3 is a blast. Resonance of Fate looks awesome. Little Big Planet GOTY edition is now cheaper. 3d Dot Game Heroes, Super Street Fighter IV, BlazBlue Continuum Shift, The PS Move (okay, I need to try that out first), NBA Jam (might have to get a Wii again), Borderlands, Darksiders, InFamous...

All of that coming out this year or already out. Oh, and Portal 2 drops this fall.

The best thing? While I may not get to touch a gaming console for the next few months, at least I'll have plenty waiting for the next year. And I'll actually have time for it, among with other things I'm looking forward to.

My wallet am cry, but I'll be glad when it's all here.

The Kshatriya will haunt your dreams

Gundam Unicorn, the first entry in the Universal Century timeline in forever, is beyond solid- it's showing great promise. I can't think of any issues I had with the first episode other than the gigantic, yawning gulf of time between this release and the next; apparently we won't be picking up on the 2nd episode of 6 until this Fall. Then again, if it gets us this kind of quality, it's worth it. A few notes:

- Banagher Links: I haven't seen a Gundam protagonist like this in a while. Granted, that has to do a lot with still not having seen 00, but he's not your typical Gundam hero just yet. He's not overly angsty, he's not emotionless, and he's not constantly getting slapped, likely because of the first two points I just made. Granted, we're only an episode in, and I've already got the feeling in my bones that he's going to have the nearly-universal "crying in his bed" moment soon, but for now, he's the best main I've seen since Garrod Ran.

- Mecha Designs: Granted, part of the charm here is the crisp hi-def visuals, but they're pretty awesome and not incredibly ludicrous for being machines of death. The Kshatriya is ridiculous on paper (including its call sign, NZ-666) but it ends up coming off as legit scary; there's some 20-odd funnels coming at ya, and Marida Cruz does a hell of a job in matching the cold demeanor of the machine.

- Historical elements: I swear, if that's not Bernie's Zaku in the museum, I'll be shocked. Also, it was nice hearing the history report for Anaheim not mention Operation Stardust, the Grypps conflict, the Titans, etc. Looks like the federation still has its share of lying assholes.

- The score for the anime is AWESOME.

All in all, I'd recommend it- it's a great start, and so far, it's worth the purchase.

A horrible week for gaming.

Two things about gaming this week that utterly pissed me off.

DERP!!

1)Hakan. I actually am mad at myself for not being ready for this more than anything, but still, I feel I have a valid beef here. Turkish Oil Wrestling is not where I have the problem. Indeed, it's no more awkward than a Sumo walking out in public with naught but his traditional dress (as in clothing, not a skirt) and a loincloth. And even with his design, it's not like Street Fighter hasn't had an increasing interest in sideshow freaks like Necro, Twelve and Q.

However, his moves are well into Power Instinct territory, including a ridiculous Ultra where he gives the appearance of shitting out his opponent. Congratulations, SF fans: you now have your Bo Rai Cho, a character that adds nothing to the proceedings other than being sorely out of place and goofy. Might as well have him rip a huge, loud one when he does it.

Now, you might be saying "But Dan's in there and you don't have any problem with him!" No shit! Dan's hilarious because he's a rip on SNK and a clumsy ass fighter. This jackass, though?

Ono really needs to be slapped hard. He's had 3 new characters that are worth a shit in the game. The rest have been shallow jokes. Enough with the goofy, pseudo-humorous abortions- no more cooking lucha fighters, no more fatass Bob ripoffs, no more Dural clones and enough joke characters, for christ's sakes. I haven't been this turned off on SSFIV since I found out Adon's going to be shit tier and we're getting Cody and not Rolento.

2)

DERPITTY DERP!!

Yep. It's happened.

Now, my hope is that since Sony has a software wing that's actually interested in something other than the umpteenth iteration of Zelda or massive mascot fanwanks, maybe they'll actually produce software that's worth a damn. They already have the better model- they got out a solid console with a solid library and they are aligning this as what it is: a peripheral. Good. And I realize the idea is to open up the market and snare some of the people in the "Wii" market.

The problem is that Sony's already done a hell of a lot right, even without this stupid shit. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Nintendo's marketing department(s) are the big reason it's succeeding, more so than the tech. I'll gladly be proven wrong. But to me, it's a cynical look towards a market that I really don't think has as much staying power as people may say. And I worry that we're going to start losing resources that could be used much more intelligently elsewhere.

Again, I'll probably have to get over it- this isn't a reach out to me, the gamer since 1984. For me, a controller must simply be adequate. And my DS3 is already way ahead of motion tech in that respect.

What's really bugging me is we still have the overwhelming knob-slobbering over Natal to face.

Other irritants of note:

- I love me some Penny Arcade, but Tycho's latest post re: Final Fantasy XIII, PS3 VS. 360 edition, is such a meandering two-step around his disappointment in the PS3 having the better version that it's almost nauseating to read. Especially when he eschews his own advice of buying the better version if you already own both systems in favor of buying a copy for each system. Yep, he owns both- his justification is that this somehow amounts to support for it being on more than one system. A Solomon-like decision, and just as intelligent in the long run.

Dude, seriously: pick one. There's almost no reason for you to be double dipping on a fucking video game, least of all out of some cavalier notion that it's a vote for multi-platform releases. I can understand a gamer who picks the 360 Version because he'd rather have it on 360. If it's for quality reasons, he's wrong, but I understand it. What I'll never understand is essentially paying $120 for one game. Not for Tony Hawk, not for Final Fantasy. Just buy your 360 copy, condemn the goddamn resolution comparisons and be done with it. You know you want to.

- Finally, Portal 2. I'm not mad about the game, but now I'm gonna have to build a new rig to make sure I can play it. Lovely. :/

My Nightly Dose of Rage

God. Damn. It.

I'm really getting sick and tired of people who can't properly use English on a forum. And yes, I"m making an exception for those from another country. After I learned Japanese, I started realizing how each language has its own concepts and rules. I'm not looking for Queen's English, either; I'm sure that by the time this paragraph is done, I'll have left enough mistakes in it to attract a college professor's red pen.

But enough is enough! For fuck's sake!

Here's an example: I'm looking around my main gaming forum, when I spot this gem:

"Street Fighter IV is a reborn of fighting games" is total bullshit.

Now never mind the fact that this sentence is somewhat awkwardly formed and the quote is unnecessary. That's an easy one.

I had the great misfortune of taking Senior-level editing at University of Arizona, which means I only proofread what I write once if I'm feeling lazy that day. And I understand the purpose of communication is to convey ideas, so I don't mind slang or somewhat less-than-stellar performance.

However, I would say that if anybody uttered that sentence within an earshot of me, my eyes would become aglow with crimson flame as I seek out the offender, and, upon getting them to face me, proceed to rip them in half right down their prime meridian. I am not, as they say, a "grammar nazi", as only one of us is engaging in a crime against language mores. I'm really just wantonly overprotective of my senses and what they take in.

Part of this problem can also be explained by the iPhone, which has the issue of putting in word suggestions automatically (depending on your configuration) unless you tap on them. Which is kind of like saying "you're having brocolli for dinner unless you say you want brocolli for dinner." Nothing like having a device do something out of spite. "Oh, you wanna ignore my suggestion? Fuck you, then. Hope you meant to text your wife that you were going to Whorehouse and not Whole Foods." Still, a cursory glance before somebody presses the post button will reveal that you're about to post something that doesn't make any sense.

In fact, such a practice would make the internet almost legible. Perish the thought.

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While I'm at it, let me bring up a gaming related issue: Death, crotch rot and chlamydia to every single person in the fucking "WWAAAAAHH!!! WHY WON'T SQUEENIX REMAKE FFVII?!!!" camp. Die in a car fire already. First off, you're wasting your goddamn time. Nobody's even started on this idea because THEY'RE TAKING FOREVER TO DO EVERYTHING ELSE. FFXIII was in development hell, XIII Versus is now in its place, and Nomura said he wants to do something with Kingdom Hearts (though, just to prove they still have their heads up their asses, he says he wants to do something to continue the main storyline, but not call it a part 3.)

There is absolutely NO FUCKING REASON WHATSOEVER that anybody on this planet should be starving for more FFVII. At all. Under any circumstances. How many more shitty games and overwrought CGI Fanwanks do you need to take place in FFVII's story before you get the hint? IT WILL SUCK. I'm sorry Square had to give the original such a shitty, blue-balls unsatisfying ending, but this why we move on instead of dwelling on it.

This is the same denial Chrono Trigger fans go through when they say the want Chrono Trigger 2, despite every effort by Square to let them know that they're not interested in the continued adventures of Crono, Marle and Lucca. Aren't Radical Dreamers and Chrono Cross proof enough otherwise, especially considering how convoluted Cross' story was and how much of the Trigger story was wrecked?

But you know what? I hope it gets released. Because I know that, much like Dawn of Mana destroyed the Seiken Densetsu fanbase, it will be shitty enough to kill the FFVII fanbase off, hopefully for good.

Oh, and Sephiroth is a momma's boy.